What inspired me, might inspire you

I’m creating space for what is coming into being

I reach out to you once a month, and this time I’m writing during the full moon, which is also why I’ve been a few days late. It's another intense period where I am both shaping my inner world and observing what’s happening around me.

When I first learned that we create in our inner world the things we want to manifest in the outer world, I didn’t give it much importance. But over time, as I witnessed these things coming to fruition, I experienced it firsthand, without needing further belief. Our desires, wishes, intentions, hopes, beliefs, and knowledge—each is slightly different from the other. I think about the factors related to the time it takes for these things to manifest. Sometimes I realize that something I wanted years ago has already come true, and I am surprised at how quickly I forgot what I wished for. Or I didn’t give enough importance to the fact that it actually came true. Haven’t you ever forgotten to acknowledge the things that have already manifested? It’s as if I approach it with an attitude like, “It was already my right” or “It was always there.” In moments when I realize this, even for the simplest things, a great sense of gratitude arises. This gratitude enhances the value I give to myself. While chasing after the endless desires created by my mind, I feel the need to slow down, for this very reason. If I try to live at the speed of my mind, I won’t be able to notice what has already come to pass, constantly yearning for more, creating visions of the future, emphasizing what hasn’t worked out, trying to make it happen, and dealing with the anxiety that comes with it.

In this era where uncertainties are ever-increasing, the last thing we need is to lock ourselves into the unknown and worry. I open my arms to the unknowns, allowing them to pass through me, with all my vulnerabilities and fears—because that’s the only way I’ll learn.

Why am I writing all this?

We all struggle with certain things in life, and our ways of coping are very different. When I look inside rather than outside, I can hear my voice, even if faintly from afar, telling me to slow down and be grateful. What is happening is already happening; maybe it's the same for you.

So, what’s happening?

A year ago, Damla Bozoğlu and I started writing a mini-series together. While I was in Portugal and Damla in Canada, we met online every week to bring our dreams together and create a new world for ourselves. In times when moving to a new country and perhaps redefining or recreating your identity is possible, we got to know ourselves while creating characters. The story we started writing took on entirely different forms, and we witnessed its transformation and development. Many times, it felt as if our bodies were a channel for knowledge—the story came into the world using us as its vessels, and I’m sure Damla felt the same. We experienced moments where we didn’t even need to speak, yet we passed through similar places. What a gift it is to share such a passion with a close friend. Now, we are preparing to meet with producers for the series. The topic of the series is a surprise for now, but I wanted to share the excitement that we plan for it to be of a different style and that we’ve decided to take on the role of directors, not just during the scriptwriting process but also during filming.

It took me a long time to express these thoughts, even to myself. In university, I studied cinema and was so frustrated during my first year because there were no film courses that I went out and made my first film by gathering people in the middle of nature, using no generators, cranes, or financial support—just a passionate group of big-hearted people. With that short dance film Small Talk, we made it to festivals like Golden Orange, Akbank, and Berlinale. I say “we” because, though the inspiration came to me, we formed a great team together. Our dance collective, dadans, had just formed. After the success of that first attempt, I started working in the industry, but I quickly realized it wasn’t structured in a way that would allow me to express my creativity. After trying different fields like advertising while working on a TV series, I decided to focus on my own art practice. Even though I had studied cinematography in Paris and followed film festivals for years, I put that young woman with a decent amount of experience on the shelf in 2011. And in 2024, that girl reappeared inside of me. With the same curiosity and passion for learning, this girl, who thinks in images and is passionate about writing, suddenly reemerged this year. I thought she was gone, but she was waiting for the right moment somewhere inside me.

The connection I established with Damla brought that girl to life, awakened her, and we even started chasing new stories together. We didn’t make a decision; we just ran straight ahead—the action came on its own. In June, we completed the shooting of a new project whose images began to appear to me. The post-production phase is almost complete, and I’ll share the details soon, but for now, it will remain a bit mysterious.

What I want to say is that for a while, I’ve wanted to write, direct, and act again, and it’s interesting to find myself having already realized these things. I must thank my friends and family, whose support I feel, because their presence alone is enough. Even without grand words or actions, you can feel that you are loved. When I look inside and see what’s happening outside, it reminds me of this. If you ask how it’s related, I guess as I feel more grateful, I trust more in the sense that the universe loves and supports me in what’s happening.

There are other things forming as well, and I’m creating space for what is coming into being.

There’s a saying, “Believe, and it shall come true.” That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m working hard, really hard, and I remind myself that there will be times when I struggle, and most of the time, it will feel like nothing is happening. But what is meant to happen is happening. Don’t beat yourself up—keep doing your best, and allow it to unfold.

** The still images are from one of my all-time favorite movies, Daisies, a controversial film by Czech avant-garde director Věra Chytilová. I am deeply grateful for her work as well. RIP